How Not To Have a Cold
(I wrote this a week ago when the first tickles of a cold started. It took me a week to edit because said cold kicked my ass.)
Oh no! You have a cold! Your throat feels like you swallowed a crusty shower loofa and your nose is running like a marathon.
What you should do: Take Zicam or Airbourne at once. That stuff works like magic, but only if you take it immediately upon feeling symptoms. You will already have this stored in your purse/medicine cabinet/desk at work because you are a responsible adult.
I like the chewable ones.
What you actually do: Feel symptoms about three hours before you can leave work. Curse your general lack of foresight as throat grows increasingly scratchy.
What you should do: Go straight to drug store after work and stock up on soup, cold meds, Kleenex, orange juice, and tea.
What you actually do: Ponder bad traffic patterns and decide to go home. Convince self that hibernating on sofa with episodes of Gilmore Girls is adequate cold remedy. Realize too late that you are very wrong.
Emily Gilmore wouldn’t stand for this.
What you should do: Stay home and rest! Don’t contaminate everyone else around you!
What you actually do: Go to work. Save valuable PTO for Christmas break. Wrap self in snuggie and fleece jacket. Whine to bemused co-worker but try to minimize symptoms. Ignore annoyed looks from co-workers when you snot all over desk. Realize mid-afternoon that your computer screen is moving by itself and that you can’t actually read anymore. Sheepishly ask to leave work early.
What you should do: Go home immediately and curl up in bed with helpful small dog.
Snugglesaurus Rex.
What you actually do: Decide now is the time to go to the drug store, despite the fact that you should probably not be driving. Buy three different varities of tea despite the fact you are only likely to drink about three cups total. Stand in juice aisle for a full two minutes before you remember why you are there. Consider calling someone to come get you. Decide this is stupid. Suddenly adopt devil-may-care attitude when caution has always suited you well so far.
What you should do: Take the Mucinex.
What you actually do: Wait, this stuff is called an “expectorant”? Doesn’t that mean it will make you spit? Do not take Mucinex! Do not hock loogies! Gross!
What you should do: Drink orange juice.
What you actually do: Drink Zing Zang. Convince self okay to add a shot of vodka because it’s too thick without vodka in it. Anyway, the Zing Zang has Vitamin C too and it will go bad if you don’t drink it And alcohol kills germs, right?
A bloody from happier times.
What you should do: Eat chicken noodle soup.
What you actually do: Make Campbell’s Cheddar Soup with corn chips. It looked way better on the shelf than the chicken noodle soup, nevermind that it’s probably supposed to be for recipes. Try to dissolve soup with milk on stove. Convince self it’s okay if chunks of unmelted condensed soup refuse to melt. Realize it’s actually pretty disgusting.
What you should do: Make the chicken noodle soup instead.
What you actually do: Eat the corn chips.
It says Family Size. Guess not.
What you should do: Go to bed really early.
What you actually do: Stay up to watch the premiere of Mindy Kaling’s new show and then go to bed about thirty minutes earlier than usual.
This is Mindy giving a great wedding toast.
Here’s hoping your cold goes away soon! Try to get some of that good Sudafed they keep behind the counter that is probably the closest thing you can get to legal drug use and drink lots of non-alcoholic fluids. Take care! (Also- wash your hands and spray antibacterial every where you go because you do not want what I have, trust me.)
Sunday Detox
After a whirlwind week of Maid of Honor duties, I’m socially detoxing tonight. Though I love my friends, my natural introversion leaves me mentally numb after a highly social weekend. Wedding related blog posts are forthcoming this week, but tonight I’m sharing this terribly charming video I found that pretty accurately depicts living with shyness. Tonight I’m curling up on my sofa with my personal crocodile and we’re taking a break.
Decatur Book Fest 2012
Obviously, my weekend peaked when Meg Cabot accepted my Ron Swanson inspired mug (and then tweeted about it– go me!), but here are some other highlights from the Decatur Book Festival.
3 books for $10! And this was not some BS book sale with a bunch of books you’ve never seen before or 30 copies of Twilight from publisher’s remainders. Oh no. These were books you might actually want. Given that I’ve managed to accrue 50 e-books this summer, I resisted the urge. But it was tempting.
It’s nice to know that even book festivals, very classy affairs, still advocate for all kinds of fried foods.
You can’t host a book festival in Georgia without nodding to Gone With the Wind in some way. My apologies to this couple, whom I do not know, but you are very cute here, for what it’s worth.
A nice touch: The Wish Tree. Just hang your wish on a branch and let it float in the breeze.
Here’s my wish:
But I saw this one, and I thought it was just charming. My heart swells when people get excited around books.
Bookzilla at the court house:
A growing trend: little libraries. People leave these little boxes around town and other people leave and take books from them in a community of book sharing. They got local artists to create their own little libraries and hosted a silent auction.
It’s not a festival without a fancy frozen treat from King of Pops, Lemon Basil to be exact. Later, my hair stylist told me how much she reviles King of Pops because he causes traffic on her street, and she can’t wait for Michael Jackson’s lawyers to take him out. I nodded, but I still had the delicious taste of Lemon Basil in my mouth,
The Jane Austen Society of North America made a showing, and they did not let the heat stop them from their cosplay.
That parasol looks nice, but that girl is roasting. Poor thing. I respect her commitment.
And finally, there’s always money in the banana stand.
The Meg Cabot Experience
This morning, I dragged myself out of my Friday night white wine and pizza hangover to see Meg Cabot speak at the Decatur Book Festival at 10 AM. Totally worth it. If you ever have the chance to hear her speak, go for it even if you don’t read her books. She’s a natural public speaker– very funny and engaging and responsive to the audience. She spoke about her books for a few minutes and then opened for questions for the bulk of the session. Though it’s cool to hear authors read their own works, I really prefer this format. You get a better sense about the author and you can learn some things that aren’t in the books. You can also learn the author is hungover too thanks to some fancy vodka at Cakes & Ale.
(Don’t worry, Dad, I know I just wrote that sappy open letter to her, but this is not turning into the Meg Cabot Fan Club Blog. Though that’s the kind of job I would OWN.)
She spoke from the altar of a Baptist church because hearing Meg Cabot speak is a religious experience, evidently.
Her dress is great, right? So fun! It’s not a great picture because I stupidly left my real camera at home. This is the only iPhone shot that wasn’t completely blurry.
Here are the high points:
— She started as an adult romance writer, and some of her earliest and best clients were the nun friends of her grandmother. Dirty nuns!
— She once co-hosted an event with Julie Andrews because of The Princess Diaries connection. Evidently, Julie Andrews swears like a sailor and drops more F-bombs than Do-Re-Mis. This is fantastic news for obvious reasons.
This is not Julie Andrews. But it is a creepy diorama from a Sound of Music souvenir shop in Austria.
— When asked about a memorable book signing experience, she recounted her visit to Brazil and gently suggested that Brazilian teen girls are very dramatic. She likened attending the book convention as an author to being KStew and RPatz at a Twilight premiere– lots of tears and behavior that warrants body guards. Interestingly, the girls stopped crying at once and mugged for the camera when the photographer snapped photos of them with Meg. CURIOUS.
— She discussed the movie adaptation of The Princess Diaries, and she said the book was circulating in Hollywood before it was actually published. She says many studios rejected it because it didn’t fit the YA conventions of the time: anorexia, pregnancy, and rehab. Ultimately, Whitney Houston read it and brought it to Disney and the movie went into production before Harper Collins bought it. (Side note: Though Meg always meant it as a series, Harper Collins didn’t trust that the first book would sell and only started with a one book contract.)
— Meg went on to explain that YA changed significantly after the publication of The Princess Diaries and other series like Angus, Thongs, and Full Frontal Snogging (not the kind of title you want to get caught reading on the subway). Before that, most YA books concerned extremely weighty matters, like teen girls who have sex and immediately die. She then went all faux arrogant and said, “You’re welcome… I’m so tired after changing the entire course of literature.” She’s great–don’t you want to get seated next to her at a dinner party?
— Right now, she’s reading mysteries because she loves when, “justice prevails.” She especially likes it when two detectives solving the mystery fall in love.
— An audience member asked about her writing process. She got a little sidetracked talking about the Internet, which is fitting. “Sometimes you need to know– was there ever really a unicorn? And then 6 hours later…”
Yes, unicorns exist! And I own one. Isn’t she sweet?
— She’s all in favor of any of her books becoming movies, and she has a flippant attitude about the Hollywood changes. This is healthy because the first Princess Diaries movie took some liberties and the second one was basically just an excuse for Anne Hathaway to hook up with Chris Pine and had nothing to do with the books (this is my assessment, not hers). Anyway, she says adaptations never turn out like the book because screenplays are 90 pages and books are closer to 300. She then said, “The movie version is really nice. The books are the version that are right. But the movies are totally fine.” Essentially, she got paid and she’s psyched that a good movie can drive someone to check out the book and get them reading.
— Books with current interests from movie/TV producers: the Heather Wells mysteries, The Mediator, and Abandon. (On Abandon: “Someone has to usher dead souls into the Underworld, so it’s probably a hot teenage guy, right?”
— Interesting Princess Diaries tidbits: a prison chaplain once wrote her that he shows the movie to all incoming prisoners because it’s so inspiring and positive. I’m sure this has exactly the effect he thinks it does. Also, she had a signing in Thailand heavily attended by some army guys. Turns out they use the first Princess Diaries as their English-as-a-second-language book. Because nothing reflects our spoken word like the diary ramblings of a pop culture obsessed teen girl.
— As a teenager, she wrote Star Wars fanfiction and a ton of space operas, or as she puts it, “sexy stuff in space.” She specifically mentioned a character named Bhaltazar and butlers who would do *anything* for their female masters. She assured us these stories would never see the light of day, and I think I speak for all of us when I say, “Boooo…. hisssss.”
— Someone asked her which book she most liked writing and she groaned that she hated writing all of them. She says what all writers know– writing a book is like childbirth in that it’s terrible while it’s happening, but then when you have the nice shiny book, you forget the pain until you start over again. During this same conversation, she said something about teenagers being horrible and quickly backtracked, “None of the ones in this audience today. You’re all wonderful.” Before you get offended, she mentioned this in connection with parenting a difficult and defiant teenager.
— Spoiler for future books: There will be another Heather Wells mystery, titled Size 12 is the New Black, out next summer but she hasn’t written it yet.
— Fun story: she warned us to never use a real person’a name when writing in revenge. Evidently, Lana is an actual person from her high school years, and she didn’t read the books, but she did see the movie (Meg smirked at this). The real Lana wrote Meg a letter, which she expected to be apologetic for her cruel behavior in high school. Instead, she said, “I did not know that you were a princess.” Meg sighed that sometimes people you think are mean are just really not very smart.
After her presentation, they herded us outside to stand in line for autographs. She was very gracious and signed multiple books per person, personalized all of them, and posed for pictures. As I stood in line, I listened to her greet everyone, and she really does make each person in line feel like they are having a special moment.
For my turn, I was ready with my Ron Swanson mug:
Oil based Sharpie, bake 30 mins at 350 degrees
Picking a quote proved tricky. I scoured the Dorothy Parker and Jane Austen archives, but none of them sent a lightning bolt to my head, and then I found a funny one about drinking coffee from Kenneth the Page. But then I didn’t know if Meg drinks coffee since she’s always talking about soda, so maybe she hates coffee. So I spent some time googling that to see if she ever mentions it in interviews or on her blog, and eventually I had a Ron Swanson moment of my own and was like, “Eff this, I’ve got a white wine and pizza date, and I know she likes Parks and Rec, so this is happening.”
She liked it! Or at least she said she did! I think she had a genuine reaction of delight though, so I assume it went over well. I managed to get out more than just “I love your work, the weather is nice,” and we shared a good couple of moments. I walked away with a bounce in my step and a new determination to keep at the writing thing.
I didn’t take a picture with her because my iPhone was in my bag and I felt bad holding up the line. I now regret this decision to be polite to people I don’t know.
And she did all this hungover. Awesome.
And hey, you know what else? “Go to a book convention or workshop of some kind” is Item 26 on my list of 31 things to do this year. One down! Thirty to go! Thanks, Meg!
The Phone. It Rings.
from YouTube user aliaslover123
I miss Gilmore Girls, and I especially miss Michel and his bitchy French attitude.
Don’t worry, we’re not talking about Gilmore Girls today. We could talk about it, and I want to make a Bunheads/Gilmore comparison chart anyway, but that clip just resonates this evening because of a series of unfortunate interactions today at my Real Life job. I won’t go into details, but suffice to say I think it’s reasonable to expect other mental health professionals to know what Autism is. At the very least, it’s not crazy to think they know how to spell the word. There came a point where Michel’s whiney accent drawled in my ear, “People are particularly stupid today. I can’t talk to any more of them.”
Three Day Weekend, you can get here anytime.
Dear Meg
Dear Meg Cabot,
I’m coming to see you this weekend. I’m bringing you a gift.
Don’t be afraid. This is totally legit because you’ll be speaking at the Decatur Book Festival and you want people to come see you, so it’s not like I’m googling you to figure out where you live in Key West so I can walk by your house twenty times. I swear I have not done this even though I will be going to Key West in the near future and I think you would find me amusing over cocktails. (I will require two before I have enough nerve to act like myself in front of one of my idols.)
Also, the gift is not weird. I’m not giving you your portrait made out of used gum or a friendship bracelet made out of my hair. I’m appropriate and normal that way.
I’m writing you this open letter because chances are when I see you at your book signing, I’ll be too dumbstruck to say much of anything. I know you’re not Ryan Gosling and you’ve totally tweeted at me before, so I should be completely cool and collected. But I remember when I met Neil Gaiman a couple of years ago and I didn’t manage much more than a weak smile and something about loving his books, even though I rehearsed something really clever and funny in my car on the way there. Nope. As soon as I stood in front of him with my copy of The Graveyard Book, I became a wide-eyed fan girl. And your writing is more significant in my own reading/writing journey, so I figure I’ll thrust my gift at you and say something awkward and then run to the bathroom and frantically text my friend J.
J’s part of the reason I adore you. She’s my long distance writing partner and a true friend. We found each other on a writing board when she made an intelligent comment about a TV show we both love and I screwed up the courage to send her an email. Until I met J, I didn’t know anyone who liked The Princess Diaries or High School Musical or any of the other geeky YA stuff I adore. Most people my age don’t bother, think it’s too young and silly. J sees what I see and we’ve built this great friendship that’s now way beyond gushing over Michael Moscovitz as the perfect fictional boyfriend and dogging broody loner boyfriends who like to suck blood. For me, your books were like a secret password. Once I knew J loved your books too, I knew we were in the same club. Now we share our writing anxieties and excitements, and I don’t know if I ever would have taken the writing dream seriously without her egging me on. So thanks for that.
Thanks for writing light, funny romances that don’t take themselves too seriously. It seems like so many writers focus on Saying Something, and so many high profile books concern Very Grave matters. I knew I didn’t want to write angsty fiction, and reading your various series showed me that we can write good-natured stories that are there for the sake of being happy and entertaining that do not force us to live in Sweet Valley (although it is admittedly interesting there). There can be messages (The Gospel of Mia!), but they don’t have to come to us through impossible language and dark imagery. We can write things that are both fun to write and fun to read. We can include pop culture references, dammit; they are amusing and people like them. We can leave our terrible days at work and go home to books that make us smile instead of cry. We can be girlie girls who want equal rights and good jobs, but we can still want a nice boy to kiss the heroine at the end. What a relief.
In short, I’m thankful that you write what you write because it’s helped me figure out who I want to be and what I want to do with my life. Kind of a big deal.
Anyway, I’ve gone sentimental and sappy, and I hope you won’t think I’m all boring because of that. I’m totally interesting. I once stopped a kid from mugging me by grabbing his hoodie and yelling for help. I can also say the alphabet backward while drunk, if that helps.
I’m looking forward to hearing you speak this weekend. I’ll try to say something witty when I see you, but I think it’ll come out sounding like, “I love The Princess Diaries. The weather is gross today.”
But you’ll know what I mean.
Cheers to you, Meg!
-M
PS Have you seen this?? I found it on Tumblr. I wish I knew who made it so I could credit them.
Stephen King’s Writing Advice
Have you read Stephen King’s On Writing? Just read it for the third time in my efforts to get a fake MFA in the next month while I gear up to Write The Novel. You can read my review of it on my writing blog, but I don’t think you actually need to go read my review because I’m just going to tell you now that I really like it and it’s a great resource for beginning writers. Folksy but firm, practical but amusing.
from stephen king’s website
Since I’m collecting writing wisdom, thought I might share some high points. One of these days I’m going to do some kind of data analysis on all the writing advice from all the authors I like and prove that there is no correct way to write. But here’s what Uncle Stevie thinks.
*Plotting? Don’t do it! Your characters will tell you what to do.
In my view, stories and novels consist of three parts: narration which moves the story from point A to point B and finally to point Z; description, which creates a sensory reality for the reader; and dialogue, which brings characters to life though your speech. You may wonder where plot is in all this. The answer—my answer, anyway, is nowhere…. I distrust plot for two reasons: first, because our lives are largely plotless… second, because I believe plotting and the spontaneity of real creation aren’t compatible. … my basic belief about the making of stories is that they pretty much make themselves.
* Where should I write? In a quiet place, no TV, no phone, door closed, desk in corner of room to remind you that writing should reflect life and not the other way around.
*How much should I write? Every day, at least 1000 words. Write at the same time of day too, if you can help it.
Once I start work on a project, I don’t stop and I don’t slow down unless I absolutely have to. If I don’t write every day, the characters begin to stale off in my mind… Writing is at its best—always, always, always—when it is a kind of inspired play for the writer. I can write in cold blood if I have to, but I like it best when it’s fresh and almost too hot to handle.
*How long will it take? Three months for the first draft, probably
* How long do I let the first draft sit? 6 weeks.
* Do Not: use adverbs, write in the passive tense, get carried away with descriptions, write above your natural vocabulary, start out thinking about symbolism or theme
* Do: Keep dialogue tags simple, read or write 4-6 hours a day, look for natural symbolism and themes in your second draft and then polish them up so they shine
So we read to experience the mediocre and outright rotten; such experience helps us to recognize those things when they begin to creep into our own work, and to steer clear of them. We also read in order to measure ourselves against the good and the great, to get a sense of all that can be done. And we read in order to experience different styles.
* Do Not: Rely on the muse, but DO: make a comfortable place for him/her to land.
And as your mind and body grow accustomed to a certain amount of sleep each night—six hours, seven, maybe the recommended eight—so you can train your waking mind to sleep creatively and work on vividly imagined waking dreams which are successful works of fiction. But you need the room, you need the door, and you need the determination to shut the door. You need a concrete goal… don’t wait for the muse…. Your job is to make sure the muse knows where you’re doing to be every day from nine til noon or seven til three. If he does know, I assure you that sooner or later he’ll start showing up, chomping his cigar and making his magic.
* Characters? Very important. In fact, they should grow and the stories should really be about them and not just “what happened.”
* What to look for in editing?
During the reading, the top part of my mind is concentrating on story and toolbox concerns: Knocking out pronouns with unclear antecedents, adding clarifying phrases where they seem necessary, and of course deleting all the adverbs I can bear to part with… Underneath, I’m asking myself the Big Questions: Is this story coherent? And if it is, what will turn coherence into a song? What are the recurring elements? Do they entwine and make a theme? I’m asking myself What it’s all about…. What I want most of all is resonance.”
*Critique groups? Meh. More important to have an Ideal Reader whose taste and opinion you trust. Write for them and pay attention to what he/she likes or dislikes. Too many writing classes make you too impressed with your own intelligence and imbue meaning where things are really more simple..
* And finally, the point of it all:
Writing isn’t about making money, getting famous, getting dates, getting laid, or making friends. In the end, it’s about enriching the lives of those who will read your work, and enriching your own life, as well. It’s about getting up, getting well, and getting over. Getting happy, okay?
And there you have it! Next stop: vacation home in Florida.
Brain Freeze
Today, work was a shark-eyed monster lurking under the surface of an idyllic weekend, waiting to pounce. Work was like this:
As a result, my brain feels like this:
In case the meaning is lost, that would be my brain feeling small and trying to hide under a chair despite the fact that everyone can see it.
So, tonight I’m drinking some wine and doing this:
Only I will be wearing clothes because I am not a heathen
50 Shades of Navy
No, this is not the post where things get really weird and I unveil my knock-off Twilight erotica. (Note to Dad: “50 Shades of Navy” is a play on the very popular erotica series currently on the bestseller list called 50 Shades of Grey. It’s kind of based on that vampire series, Twilight. Ask my sister about it, she read it. I would never read it because I’m your sweet, innocent angel. I don’t even understand half of what it’s about.)
This is the post where we discuss bridesmaid dresses. Navy bridesmaid dresses.
One of my best friends, we’ll call her D for now, is getting married next month, and I’m bringing plenty of honor to the Maid of Honor role. She asked us to pick our own dresses, “Just choose something navy,” she said. This is both awesome and awful. By allowing us to pick our own dresses, she’s giving us the chance to buy dresses we will actually wear again. She’s letting us find something that actually works and sparing us the humiliation of unfortunate cap sleeves and obvious underarm fat. She’s also forcing us to make a decision for ourselves when it would be so much easier to bitch and moan about the terrible dress she picked because she’s a size zero (SERIOUSLY) and doesn’t understand body type. Now if my dress looks terrible, I can only blame myself. In these photos that we’ll see billions of times on Facebook and in picture frames, my horrible dress is a disaster of my own making. Thanks a lot, D.
Luckily, navy is a universally flattering color, and it shouldn’t be too difficult to find a dress that looks fantastic, right? Um, you’ll see. There are not literally 50 dresses. But there are 30. I’m not kidding.
First up, dresses I already own.
Dress 1: A cotton J Crew Swiss Dot sundress. It’s a beach wedding, so I can go casual. Didn’t feel special enough though. Not very, “celebrate eternal love.”
Dress 2: A J Crew wedding dress with flimsy chiffon layers and a v-neck. The technical term for this is “Mehhhhh.” This is probably what D was trying to avoid.
Dress 3: A swingy knit dress with ruffly layers. Actually, a pretty cute and fun dress, but it felt too casual and I already wore it to the engagement party.
Dress 4: The really great eyelet dress that really doesn’t fit anymore, hence my sucking-in fish face. If I really focused on diet and exercise, I would look great and could not eat a thing during the wedding weekend. NEXT.
Dress 5: The sweet garden party dress with the white linen under layer. Not bad, but there’s a noticeable toothpaste stain on the bust. Damn you, teeth whitening bleach! Also, my weird uneven scoliosis hips are obvious, and I don’t love that.
So, from there we move on to the mall and assorted boutiques.
Dress 6: A business casual Rebecca Taylor number. Anything that requires me to tie a square knot after drinking celebratory champagne is probably not a great option.
Dress 7: A sale dress at Nordstrom. Not bad, but I wasn’t sure she would approve of the white accents. And let’s be honest: I need at least a C-cup for this.
Dress 8: A famous Diane von Furstenberg wrap dress. I don’t care how flattering some people say they are; you can see my flanks. I’m like a show pony. Also, putting this one on required extensive knowledge of the laws of physics, and thanks to a really sub-par senior year science teacher, I have no ability there.
Dress 9: A Jessica Simpson dress. Hence the vacant blonde look. I didn’t want to like this. You see JSimps acting like a dumb blond and you’re like, “Ugh, I don’t want to support her making money by acting stupid.” But then you try on the dress that really does hang right and you’re like, “FINE, Jessica. You win this time.” I kept looking on principle though.
Dress 10: The Cape Dress. This is obviously the frontrunner.
Dress 11: This is fine, but it just exists. It’s like The Mentalist of dresses.
Dress 12: This is only here because I look skinny.
Dress 13: The Mermaid Scales dress. Give me a talking crab and a fish friend and I could make this “Part of Your World.”
Dress 14: The Hippie Dress. I think the top part is made of hemp. No, really.
Dress 15: The Ruffle Butt dress. It photographs well, but I was a pair of boots and a can of hairspray away from getting hired as a back up singer for Taylor Swift, which would not be a bad life, actually.
Dress 16: In this one, I channel a Real Housewife of Whatever. Maybe Julie Cooper from The OC.
Dress 17: The dress that tried to choke me. Otherwise: totally cute.
Dress 18: There’s really not anything wrong with this one. It’s totally acceptable. It’s just kind of redundant. It’s the Rock Center of dresses.
Dress 19: I call this one “Ren Faire Skank.”
Dress 20: These are starting to look the same, right? Like maybe I should just pick one already? Whatevs. This one has a belt which I think D won’t like.
Dress 21: Yawn.
Dress 22: At this wedding, we go clubbing. I need some fishnets and some feather earrings and some shoes with goldfish in the bottom.
Dress 23: In this dress, I can channel my inner Stevie Nicks. This is not a small consideration. I can also store snacks in the sleeves.
Dress 24: Oh! This one is totally cute and fits well and has a good shape and flatters my skin tone. It’s not navy, but everyone will be drinking, right?
Dress 25: It’s hard to tell, but the inner shell of this one is covered in sequins. Party in the front, Miss America pageant in the back.
Dress 26: No, you’re right; this one does look pretty swell and my hair is suddenly fantastic and I should probably just go live in the Banana Republic dressing room because everything just works there. But it’s so, “She’s got upper middle management written all over her,” you know?
Dress 27: At least in this one I can eat dessert.
Dress 28: Here’s where I got to Anthropologie and channeled one of those girls with a fashion blog who takes herself really seriously while posting what she wears every day. Also, I feel like an extra on Mad Men.
Dress 29: This is essentially my First Communion dress, but dyed navy and without a sailor collar.
So what’s the verdict? Some of these are okay, but nothing really gave me that special “zing.” I think I found a pretty good one, though. I’m saving it for the wedding, so you’ll have to wait. I’ll give you a hint: it’s navy.
… Hello 31.
From my Dad’s iPhone at the family party last week. He’s snap happy.
Yesterday, I wrote about the list of 30 things I was supposed to do during my 30th year. I didn’t have much success thanks to my own slacker behavior, but this year I’m committed. I’m posting my list online to make myself accountable to my readership. All 15 of you. As I finish more interesting items on the list, I’ll post about them here.
Some notes on the list: this is no bucket list. These are things I might realistically accomplish in the next year given schedule and finances. So you won’t see, “Paraglide over Grand Canyon,” or “Buy couture gown.” There’s a variety here– big things and small things. I’m hoping by giving myself some easy wins I’ll be more likely to tackle the more intimidating ones. Big or small, they’re all things I actually want to do. Might as well do them this year.
If you read an item that sounds interesting to you and you want to join me while I attempt it, let me know in the comments. This obviously only applies if you know me in Real Life.
And away we go.
Item 1: Finish stitching the wall hanging for J. I told her I would do it well over a year ago. This is now ridiculous. It’s not like I don’t want to and it’s not like I don’t have time.
It involves a quote from 30 Rock. I’m really quite happy with it so far.
Item 2: Make French Macarons. They are very challenging and I will beat them.
Item 3: Get back into volunteering– at least a semi-regular gig. Choose something fun. I was doomed from the start with the hospice thing last year. When your Real Job is to listen to everyone’s worst day ever, you need your volunteer work to be more uplifting.
Item 4: Catch up with my unread book list. This is probably impossible.
This is not actually the “To Be Read” pile. I just like looking at my bookcase.
Item 5: Read Anna Karenina. It just seems like something I should have read by now. Also- movie this year!
Item 6: Clean out and organize pantry. CONTAINER STORE. Bring LMac because she’s into that kind of thing.
She’s kind of great, right?
Item 7: Visit Center for Puppetry Arts. MUPPETS. This is one of the weirdest things about ATL and I can’t believe I still haven’t tried it. All of my friends who grew up here went on field trips in elementary school. Maybe I’ll convince someone to join me for the Halloween puppet show?
Item 8: Finish watching Friday Night Lights. It’s stupid that I’m still working on it.
Item 9: Donate at least $31 monthly to charity. ($30 if they only take $10 increments) Readers, I’m open to suggestions! I know it’s not much to give, but everything counts, right?
Item 10: Check on SkyMiles situation. Figure out how to use them. Then I can have more airport Bloody Marys.
The Delta Sky Lounge always puts a splash of red wine in their Bloodies. Fun fact!
Item 11: Back up computer. Suck it up, get it done, get Harrison (Engineering PhD cousin) to help.
Item 12: Post to this blog 4x weekly. Posts to book blog don’t count, lazy ass.
Item 13: Host game night. You love board games. You have some that you’ve never even played. Make your friends play them. Some of them might even like it. Don’t worry, CK, I won’t invite you.
Item 14: Keep at least semi-regular journal.
I used to be really good about this.
Item 15: Make Book It t-shirt. I’m never going to the find this shirt in a store. It’s time.
Item 16: Do something really nice for my sister. Not posting what it is here because she might read this, but I have PLANS. These are her kids. Sooo…. you can see why she might want a break.
I promise they are cheerful sometimes.
Item 17: Make all Christmas presents except books. This is crazy. Try it anyway. Put that Pinterest board to good use.
Item 18: Send Grandma weekly pictures of funny and cute things. Heidi should be featured often. Grandma just moved to a new place and she’s having some stress and cute pictures of dogs are good for the soul.
Grandma on her way to a luau. You can tell she’s saucy.
Item 19: Meet neighbors. At least the ones on ether side. Maybe the guy on the balcony over mine that talks really loud. At least to tell him to hold his deep philosophical discussions with his cell phone until after 9 AM on Sundays. Bring cookies to bribe them to like me.
Item 20: Find good reading chair for office. Something cozy and readerly.
Item 21: Go some where on this list: Boston, Europe, Hogwarts (in Florida), Canada. I recognize this is a strange list. I’m keeping my options open. Do you want to go?
Item 22: Visit Elizabeth in Statesboro. She just moved there and I miss seeing her.
Elizabeth with Heidi, who adores her.
Item 23: Read Volume 1 of Mark Twain’s autobiography. This will be an endurance test, but I did the math and it’s possible to get it done in 2 months if you read 10 pages a day.
Item 24: Take wine tasting class/ go to wine tasting/drink wine in some educational capacity. Bring Melissa… after she has her baby.
Less baby bottles, more wine bottles.
Item 25: See a musical I have not seen. Bonus points if it’s in NYC.
Item 26: Go to a book convention or workshop of some kind.
Item 27: Go to DC and do something really pop culturey with CK, Lennie, and Chris. I’m always jealous when they go to movies together or watch Community or whatever. (I know, Chris, “MOVE TO DC, M. NOBODY IN ATL LIKES YOU ANYWAY.”) I want to pick a good pop culture related activity and go hang out with them. Eric can come too if he’s not too busy being International.
This is from my last birthday. They don’t usually walk around in mesh gloves.
Item 28: Find make-up artist and learn how to make up my face properly now that my skin is clear. It’s time I learned how to use eye liner appropriately.
Item 29: Try that elusive and exclusive Holeman & Finch burger. Note to non-Atlantans: they only serve 24 of them and they only serve them at 10 PM at night. They are allegedly incredible.
Item 30: Play Shuffleboard at Twain’s. Play with Diette if possible. I always put it off because there’s a wait to play and I’m shy about getting in line for things because I’m a terrible, terrible introvert. Time to make myself have fun, dammit.
This is us dancing. Dancing really well, as you can see.
And the very biggest one:
Item 31: Write novel. Be ready to query agents by next birthday. This is it. I’m doing it. No excuses. It’s time to be who I’m supposed to be.
And that’s it. I’m reserving the right to change the list in the next week if something occurs to me, but I think this is it. Wish me well in the comments. 31 is 13 backward, so this year can only be great, right?
M. Dabski 