My German odyssey begins tomorrow, and I’ve spent much of tonight making final preparations.  Here are some last minute things I did:

Last American Meal for Nine Days:  bbq pork taco with queso dip

Well, it’s technically Tex-Mex, but close enough.

Last Minute Baked Goods for Hosts: Unicorn Poop Cookies. Assuming German Customs allows this in the country, I’m giving my hosts techni-color sparkly sugar cookies in thanks for their hospitality. There’s enough food dye and edible glitter in these to make my holistic-medicine-loving cousin lose her marbles.  You might think this an odd choice, but my friend Jenny enjoys unicorns and I enjoy a good baking challenge.  Recipe here.

I captured a unicorn! At last!

Last Picture of Loyal Schnauzer: My neighbor and friend N will dog-sit for Heidi in my absence. N encouraged me to take my little monster with me so she can see her “Mother Land.”  We tried to ask Siri of the iPhone if schnauzers are common in Germany and Siri told us she can’t  look for things in Germany.  I think Siri is way more helpful to Zooey Deschanel and Samuel Jackson in those commercials  than she will ever be to me.

She is stalking my luggage, looking for the opportune moment to stow away.

Last minute panic attack:  Do I have three copies of my passport? Is three enough?  Did I write down Jenny’s phone number?  AM I SURE?  What if someone steals my laptop while I’m gone? Should I leave it at N’s house? What if the whole building burns down? Is it too late to get an external drive and then take all my files with me? Probably too late, right?  What if my plane crashes and I lived my last day at work at my job instead of spending time with family like I always say when people play the “Last Day on Earth” game? What if my parents fight with N about who will get custody of my dog if I die? What if that weird thing in Heidi’s mouth explodes while I’m gone?  Did I remember to put her flea meds on her? Did I count my pills to make sure I have enough? Is my jacket heavy enough? I should bring a sweater, right? Why do my sweaters  smell strange? DO I HAVE BLACK MOLD?

You can see that I desperately need a vacation.    Good thing I leave tomorrow. Next stop: airport!